When: 12th Feb 2005
It was a brave and fearless pack who turned up for the hash with women in charge. Well, poor Horny Bee had a horrible eye infection, so Devil asked a few select harriets if they could help her hare, and a willing Loose Nutz jumped in for her.', 'The trail was a blue one, which skiers know are the easy slopes, but in this case, the hares should have marked it black â?? although that wouldnâ??t have been much help as the markings were on black tarmac, it did hit some snow. Hares did have blue hands was that due to the cold? The intrepid hashers forced their way through torrential rains, blowing gales, and other bad weather conditions. It was going to be nice weather as the RA originally overslept, but as she woke up, so the weather met her usual standards. Anyway the run was long and wet, the drink stop had a strawberry concoction of the rest of Loose Nutz drinking cabinet, some liquer which Likkâ??Em likes to bring along, I wanted to try some but got glared at. Oh and some Kirschwasser which put hairs on Moose Divers chest. The way back was much quicker and we had the circle under the bike sheds so my notes were kept nice and dry.
Joystick, our GM did try to circle up, but Pull-a-Pint managed to spill her beer, anyway the hares, Devil and Loose Nutz were finally called in and this is what we liked about the trail:
A ladies run, wet, above 0, nice doors, hare got lost, a blue run. So the hares had their down down. A bit of disrespect was shown, the eagle eyed RA noticed that the hares kept their hats on, almost an argument, but as we all know the RA is always right, unfortunately. I mean fortunately. The GM left the circle and our honourable RA, Showâ??Em look over. First things first, she introduced the visitor, Bones from Pretoria, Showâ??Em made him come and to-night he is single (so is his wife) And as he used to be MH3â??s beer Meister, Speedo joined him in with the down downs. The RA got the beautiful, loving and happy walkers in and that lovely lot were Moose Dover, Pull-a-Pint, Cumming Numb, Bottom Blower who was considerately asked if she wanted water, beer or her down down to be nominated. Very excitedly she said she wants to save her beer ration for a special occasion, so just had water. and a hare, Devil and when all hares drinks, Loose Nutz drinks to.
There were serious snowballs flying around, the eunuchs who lost their balls were The Abominable Barfman, Tonto and Happy Meal. Pull-a-Pintâ??s previous misdeed was remembered, so she had a down down for spillage. The short wearers were Shirtlifter (still wearing them), Happy Meal, Joystick and Tonto. The nominations were now open, the first one being for the short cutters, Tonto and Speedo. The Abominable Barfman got Bones and the RA for using the S-Bahn, Loose Nutz got the counting down song wrong, so the hares were in, we counted down nice and slowly so that Loose Nutz would get the words right the next time, and Devil still couldnâ??t drink it in that extra long time, but eventually she managed.
As it is VALENTINES DAY ON MONDAY, hint, Joystick did his lovely gesture of bringing chocolate hearts for the harriets, so the girls had a heart shaped down down, and they were:
Cumming Numb, Edel Vice, Showâ??Em, Pull-a-Pint, Bottom Blower and Devil and if one hare drinks, Loose Nutz joins in, well it was a ladies hash â?? that was one of the reasons why Pull-a-Pint showed up, to support the girls. And of course Joystick joined in. A few of the others grabbed at the chocolates, but those ones fell on the floor. Ha ha.
Joystick stayed in the circle and asked Tonto to read the name on the box he was holding. Tonto obliged and read out the name â??Happy Mealâ?, it was a box that Joystickâ??s niece had from going to Mcdonalds, and Joystick bribed her for it. Taking toys off little girls, tut tut. Happy meal then joined them for his leaving present, and inside was a brezl, a rubber duck and a drink, we still are not sure when Happy meal is leaving us.
The fashion police were around, and Pull-a-Pint was called in for being anon (Ruggies fault, more later), Bones for his luminous pink socks, Edel Vice for her trousers, the Abominable Barfman for wearing Showâ??Emâ??s hat, and Moose Diver for having â??Winnerâ? instead of his name on his hat. Pull-a-Pint announced Charles and Carmillas wedding with a joke, Camilla says yeigh, yeigh when Charles popped the question. So as they couldnâ??t make it to the circle, the next best couple getting married were called in, Showâ??Em and the Abominable Barfman Joystick kept them in as Showâ??Em had visible signs of domestic violence on her face. Cumming Numbâ??s theory was that the Abominable Barfman blamed Showâ??Em for the haircut, so the three of them drank together.
Any Welshmen? Any looses in the rugby? Ruggie Burns, Lose Nutz, + Devil, Tonto and Happy Meal were called in.
OK, we had blue spots on black tarmac, but what about the yellow spots? Bones was called in for potting so Speedo joined him, we are not worthy.
The walking hare was nominated for using a map, thatâ??s ok, said the RA, and what about asking for directions, that is not ok, so a down down for the hares.
The RA then called in Bottom Blower and wanted to know what the special occasion was. BB looked a bit worried, what if they had forgotten that she had done 25 sober runs â?? most of them were sober as she was either pregnant, breastfeeding or pregnant. There was no need to fear, as Edel Vice presented her with the converted 25 runs tankard. Bones sang her a really nice song. And her tankard was full up to the top with shandy. Took a while for it to go down, and my hair is still sticky. Yuk. There was a rebound from Moose Diver but I donâ??t know why. Then the RA tried to blame the Abominable Barfman for the weather, as it is only bad when he accompanies her Joystick rebounded that saying it was her job to provide us with the good hashing weather we have come to forget.
Then the RA got Edel Vice in as she hadnâ??t realise that her jacket had a hood in it, after having it for a few years. Ruggie Burns had a down down for being lazy, he couldnâ??t be bothered to go back to the car to retrived the gear Pull-a-Pint had bought, thus causing her to have a down down previously. Bones had a down down for being ready and waiting â?? he always had an appropriate song ready and the beer meister Speedo joined him. Our beer meister got the RA wet so he had to have a down down, and as beer meisters never drink alone, RA joined him. Shirtlifter was called in, how come he wasnâ??t manly enough to help out a harriet in distress, he was one of the three hashers Devil wrote to in her peril. (Never did find out who the third one wasâ?¦) Back to the subject of Beer Meisters, Moose Diver should have joined the other meisters, as he is the spare beer meister, so he had a down down. For getting into deep shit, the Abominable Barfman had a down down. Then Tonto called in the hares, through out the whole circle, Loose Nutz kept trying to hush Devil up each time she wanted to nominate someone, he didnâ??t want her to get into trouble, as he didnâ??t want to drink. Bones joined them. Then we sang swing low, and walked the few yards to the on after, IsarbrÃ¤u, where the beer mats came from Belhaven, which is my Grannies favourite beer. So now you know.
For the slow readers here is the quick version:
Loose Nutz 8
The Abominable Barfman 5
Speedo Gonzales 5
Moose Diver 4
Happy Meal 4
Edel Vice 3
Cumming Numb 3
Bottom Blower 3
Ruggie Burns 2
If I have missed anything out, just add your comments,